FRIENDS AT WORK

This subject is a tricky one for most people. Many are there that do not know where to draw the line between friendship and work. In fact, some people believe you can only have either but not successfully combine both. I however come with the proposal that you can play both but the parties concerned must be matured individuals who totally understand each other’s personalities and the psychology of the work place.

The average worker spends the larger part of the day at work so it is only logical that you have close friends at work (logic one). Some other people however feel that you only meet the people at work because of the job; so you keep your friends outside of work and colleagues as ‘part of the job’ (logic two). While I find both points of view very thoughtful, I will try to find a mid-point.


We spend at least half of our day (average of 8 hours at work and about 4 hours commuting) at work so it is natural that you find like-minded people with whom to ‘rub minds’- people that you share your mind with (about the ‘bossy’ boss, the insulting supervisor, the poor appraisal system, the excel guru or professional certification colleague, the hot office gist, etc.). The human nature thrives in groups hence the natural tendency for cliques to be formed. So it is only natural that people identify with people who are like themselves and become friends – whether with or without purpose  (This is another subject entirely). The same is true of the work place. A freshman arrives an organization and the safest thing to do is to identify ‘who is who’ and quickly associate with any one that seems like him or one he will like to become. This has its advantages – someone to help you know the organization better, someone to help you through your career growth, someone to talk to on those stressful days, someone to share office gossip with or someone to end the day at the movies or club to wind down with. Relationships are very beneficial – no man is an island yeah? Hold on; let me turn the table round.
You have come to work to WORK – keep it that way. The reason you have met those people around you is because you got the job, so stay focused on the job. Ask questions when you need to about the job, ask for help to deliver on the job, whatever it is you want to do, do it but ensure you keep the job as the job. No child, husband, girlfriend, cash, stories. Focus on the job and be efficient. Stop the gist and ‘unnecessary’ interactions. Finish your work on time and go home to your family, friends, go home to LIFE.

Two worlds, two opinions, but I like to use the benefits of both – developing quality relationships and excellent efficiency and productivity at work. How do you balance the two? It’s easy – parties involved must understand, appreciate and embrace the need for the benefits of both. Where one or all of the parties involved lacks this understanding, something suffers – people become hurt, non-productive at work or both. Understanding the benefits means working when work needs to be done (and not just chatting or faffing around the office). You must remember that this is the primary purpose for which you are in that environment. And yes! There will be times when you need a shoulder to lean on, wipe the tears, feel the healing that a shoulder brings, and then get back to work. There will be stressful periods at work, demanding deadlines and clients, let your friends help you sail through the demands then you can hang out afterwards to celebrate your victories. Leave the interesting movie story you saw last night for lunch gist and make best use of your ‘spare’ time at work developing yourself – not chatting (whether face-to-face or on the IM). Reprimand the other when it needs to be done and be fair in judging others in your discussions with each other (evil communication corrupts good manners).

We must understand that the purpose of friendship is to develop one another in order to achieve our goal(s). Where a friend does not help you achieve any positive goal in your life, you need to re-evaluate such. Just as friendship is of great worth to man-kind, it is also important that each man is efficient and productive in the field they find themselves (lest there be drought in the land – little wonder why many large corporates with large staff count still do not perform as well as others). So I hope dear reader, that the next time you are faced with this conflict at work, that you remember that the friend at work is meant to boost your productivity and development and not otherwise.